How to avoid feeling stressed at Christmas..

Does the very thought of Christmas make you feel stressed? It can seem like there’s so much to do, and so little time in which to do it. There’s also the pressure of finding the ‘perfect’ gift for your loved ones, selecting the best Secret Santa gift (though we can help with that – see our earlier post here) and preparing a mountain of food to satisfy every appetite over the big Christmas week.

Even those who love Christmas and all it entails can find themselves feeling a little stressed, but it’s a fact that if you predict Christmas will be stressful, it will be. Our brains are wired to protect us, and one way they do this is by recognising threats – think “Yikes, sabre tooth tiger – run!”. The prehistoric portion of our brain can spot danger before our logical brain kicks in, so we find ourselves responding to the danger before we have actually had time to process what that danger is. It also bases a lot of its responses on memories. Think “Oh, last time I sat my driving test I failed badly, which felt really awful.’ You remember the test, and your brain associates this with how it felt, so next time you turn up for the test, your brain triggers feelings of upset and stress. 

Interestingly, you don’t even need to have lived an experience for your brain to store it like a memory – if you keep visualising Christmas and feeling stress, when you actually get to Christmas, your brain says – “oh, it’s time to feel stress”, and boom, you’re stressed. This, happily, can work in reverse – start visualising an easy, happy day with zero stress. Picture your guests telling you what a wonderful time they have had, and your home looking merry and bright. Do this often, and your brain will start associating thoughts of Christmas with comfort and joy, not despair and dismay. It’s not foolproof, obviously, but it’s a technique used by therapists and hypnotherapists for its power, so it’s definitely worth a few minutes of your time every day. 

Something else you can do is plan for an easy Christmas. Write a list of everything you want to achieve, Walk away and have a cuppa, then come back and look at your list. Cross out everything that you want, but really don’t need – the sort of thing nobody notices if it isn’t there. Who needs four kinds of veg, or three kinds of stuffing? Who needs to eat at 1pm on the dot, when you can tell everyone to have a late breakfast and lunch will be ready by 3pm? Ish. Lower your standards from your version of perfection to everybody else’s idea of a good time.

Finally, set the scene right from the front door and all your guests, whether they’re the neighbours popping over for mulled wine and mince pies, or the mother-in-law in expectation of turkey and pudding, will feel welcome and warm and happy even as they step onto the front door mat.

Here’s how to set the scene for a wonderful Christmas

Ambience

It’s Christmas, let there be sparkle and light, and let it start right at the front door. Invest in a wreath. Pop to your local Makers Market or Farm Shop and purchase a fresh-made wreath, dash to B&Q and choose one you can use on repeat, or book you and your bestie into a wreath making class (make sure there’s fizz) and have fun. Whichever you choose, make sure it’s the best, easiest option for you. Then hang the wreath on the front door and forget about it.

Next, plan your lighting scheme. Keep the room lights low – if you haven’t a dimmer switch, use only table lamps, not the overhead, and trail some festive lights across the table, mantle or window sills. Dot tealights (choose LED ones if you have children or pets) and fill glass vases full of baubles that match your tree colour scheme, thread short strings of battery powered lights in amongst the baubles and use these as a table centre. 

Ask Alexa (or whomever) to play Christmas music, but keep the volume low, so it’s very much in the background – an underlying comforting sound, not something people need to yell over, or you’ll end the day with a headache.

Clean and tidy

But not too clean and tidy! People only notice the big things; your home does not need to be spotless. Food preparation can be done the day before, so all the chopping and prep utensils are washed and away. Everything being cooked on the day should be easy to decant into serving bowls or platters, and then the cooking trays can be hidden away in the oven (or even outside) until you feel ready to tackle it. If you’re worried about glass rings on tables, throw a cloth over them. People will or won’t use drink mats, you cannot and should not attempt to police that. A great tip is to go to your local DIY store and select some long ‘samples’ of wallpaper, then effectively ‘wrap’ the table in that. Choose a paper that’s totally plain or coordinates with your colour scheme. The joy of this is that the next day, all you do is unwrap your table top and throw it away.

Keep food and drink simple

People like to feel well-fed, but don’t expect to feel well-fed on 18 different things. At parties, choose to serve no more than five different snacks or canapes, and if people offer to bring something, say yes please.

For Christmas lunch, your big ticket item will be the turkey, beef or ham (or whatever). Roasties are a must, of course, but unless it’s family tradition (thanks grandma) you don’t need alternative potato offerings. Even then, you can ask someone else to do that bit. And for vegetables – keep it simple. Choose easy prep veg that can sit in a bowl keeping warm while you get everything else ready. Red cabbage, roast carrots and roast sprouts deliver a rainbow of colour and will satisfy the crowds, too. Christmas dinner is effectively a glorified Sunday lunch, and you pull that off every time with minimum fuss, it’s just at Christmas you need to spend a little extra time peeling potatoes – which is not something you alone are capable of, so ask for help.

In short, plan to do as little as possible to achieve a memorable occasion. This way, you will actually have some time in the day to enjoy it yourself, make those memories and show your brain Christmas can be stress free.

Eddie – Friday 15th December. (Image used from office).